Thursday, March 29, 2012

It's Frackin' Friday!

Yes, it’s that time again. It’s time for Dazee’s rant and vent time on her blog, Crazy Daze and Night Dreams. She is so gracious to give us a platform that allows us to share the frustrations of the week. I know I’m ready to share mine. What about you?

I have a problem with people who don’t look at themselves very honestly. After my daughter died, I went into such a depression I started having anxiety attacks and couldn’t deal with much. It didn’t matter that I needed help and should have been under a doctor’s care, I was still told that I didn’t do enough and that I needed to put everyone else before me. That’s what got me in the position I was in. I didn’t deal with my own emotions until it was too late.

The bottom line was, I was on my own emotionally. It did make the journey a little harder and longer, but I did figure out what I needed in order to crawl out of that hole. There was so much self examination in the process that I realized I was a different person than I had been before. Not just because of the loss of a child, but because I had to change things about me in order to leave that place.

What I’ve discovered is that others who should have done the same thing did not. And they expect me to be the same person I was before. That is not going to happen. I can’t go back there. The result is that I’ve moved past the point of caring what others think about me.

Don’t expect me to care what you think about me if you don’t go through the same process I did. I deserve not to be demeaned because you didn’t examine and change yourself in the process. I’m not dealing with it anymore.

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