Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Feeling Philisophical

For those of you who know me, you will know that I do have some deep thoughts once in a while. I’m not all about photography or hops. Lately my life has been a bit of a jumble. Too many things are weighing on my mind and I can’t seem to descramble them.

I am in a position that most of the time seems to be bigger than I can make sense of. Nor can I figure out how to get out of it. At this point, it is matter of resources. I have none. I cannot get a job interview, which is going to be the only way I have of changing the situation I find myself in.

The lack of resources has been put in place by someone other than me. I’m just trying to figure out how make resources out of nothing.

Why does one person feel the need to control another? Some say it is self esteem issue. Others say it has to do with a feeling they have a lack of control so they control the one person they are in a position to control. I say it is the feeling that someone has that thinks they are better than the other person. Like that person does not count for anything.

One thing I can tell you is this. I am not worthless. I have not been perfect, or even close, but I have not been worthless.


  1. I so agree with Amanda!!! But it does go a little deeper than that...and you are correct also. Control freaks are people with self esteen issues, issues of being out of control themselves, and are people who just flat out get off on making you miserable....they like that power! And the more they try to control you the worse is makes you feel.....sounds like t the moment you are just world weary as hell.....take some "me" time and get yor head together and you will see you deserve so much better than that....hugs!

  2. I agree with Amanda. that person is an asshole. Extreme, beyond bloody diarehha. (sp). You are not WORTHLESS. I honestly think that controllers think they are worthless so they make the ONE person that they supposedly love feel like they are. NOt to mention, said person is a narcissist. But how do I really feel.