Friday, August 26, 2011

With Tape on My Mouth

That is exactly how I’m expected to be. I am not allowed to have feelings or if I do, I am not allowed to express them. I am expected not to lie, but I am expected to lie for others.

The worst thing about it is that I do not know why I am shocked by this. It’s been this way for so long that I should just get used to it. The problem is that the older I get, the more I find this absolutely not fair.

When certain people were younger, I would have to relay information to the person they did not want to tell because as I was told by them….”You know how he is”. I still hear it on occasion. Now “he” says things about them and I am expected to not say anything or lie to them so they won’t know what he says about them.

This has been going on for so long I don’t know exactly when it started. I can tell you that when we were broke, it was me who had to ask for help and deal with all the bill collectors because it was too much to have to deal with them. You know how they make you feel if you’ve ever been behind on a bill.

I’m tired. Not just tired of it. Just tired. If everyone wants to be treated like an adult, why don’t they act like it?

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