Friday, April 1, 2011

Decisions Must Be Made

Decisions Must Be Made

I made the mistake of trying to have a conversation with my husband the other night. You would think after 27 years I would know better. I know I sound horrible but here it goes. And for the person who reads this and knows I’m talking about her… names were exchanged. Of course that means the entire conversation is not in here. You’ll get the gist.

Me: This is one funny story. One of my blog friends has the most hilarious happenings at work and I just find myself rolling.

Him: Yeah (Big talker when it’s about me).

Me: She never tells anyone where she lives but I figured it out. She kept saying little things and I finally got it.

Him: Yeah (Remember, big talker).

Me: She’s in --------.

Him: What a ----hole! Nothing to see for miles.

Me: I like that.

Him: You would. There’s no people.

Me: That’s right. (I would be a hermit if I could).

Him: How can you like it when there’s nothing there and the wind never stops?

Me: I think it’s beautiful.

Him: You’ve never been there. It isn’t like where we used to live. (His voice level is rising at this point).

He continues: I’m telling you it’s bad. Why would anyone want to live there? (Voice level still rising).

Me: You and I are very different.

Him: I don’t understand why anyone would want to live there. I really don’t. (Still rising). You don’t know so don’t tell me you do!

Silence while I collect my thoughts……

Me: Why are so pushy about this?

Him: Well….. (Then he walks off).

You see every conversation is difficult. I started this conversation trying to share a story I found funny. It ended up with him practically yelling at me. Once again he was trying to make me feel like an idiot. WELL IT DIDN’T WORK. All it did was tick me off.

I have to make some decisions. I cannot continue to do this. He has a serious self esteem issue and I’m tired of dealing with it because he refuses to look at his own issues. If anyone tells you that another person can change, don’t believe them unless they are taking a hard look at themselves. Otherwise it’s all talk.


  1. Oh...hang in there. I know it's tough. Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. Love you, lady... and big hugs. From your friend where the wind blows and it is beautiful. See...compromise. LOL

  2. wow honey I am sorry that things are sour right now. I have a difficult hubby too and I know sometimes it seems like you are going through it alone. Just wanted to say hang in there, stand up for yourself, and you are not alone.

  3. oh man. that is just not right. were you talking about me? The wind blows here all the time. Oh wait, it's not all about me. Geez

    My 2 cents. You don't need to take that from him. I know that as women, we always want to fix. But not to the detriment of you. You are a wonderful woman and don't need to take crap like that. Rant over.

  4. This is funny, seriously! Being a male I can relate because I have been married 25 years and you can see from my own blog that my conversation with my wife are very similar in fact in the words of TI double ga err. There is no difference in falling out of bed at night and falling 10,000 feet to your death, except for the splat at the end they are practically similar. I complain about conversation and sex the lack of it all the time, but I have learned that people and relationships change with age and time. I am at that time right now and reading your blog is like reading my wife. Wow! De Ja Vu. OK my point of view. Ya love him? I say this everyday to my wife she never says it back. I'm just adjusted to where things are now and where they might be going now. I am starting to delve back into hobbies to keep me busy. I miss the conversation too I wish I could get it back.

  5. Sorry to hear that things aren't going the way that you intended right now. However, I've got two workds for you - LOVE LANGUAGE figure out your love language and his love language and it will make your time together more enjoyable for the both of you~!