I just don’t understand some people. I don’t understand how they think or how they justify their actions to themselves. And there are only four people in my life who have risen to the level of “special circumstance”. These are the people I will probably never get past what they said or did.
The first is someone I just can’t stand to be around. He pretends to others he’s this great guy and actually thinks that people are in awe of him. He just doesn’t know what they say behind his back. He goes to church every week but will weasel every dime out of you every chance he gets. I have no time or energy to deal with him and yet I have to once in a while.
The next two have never accepted me into the family. Ever. I have never been good enough to be part of their family from day one. During a major medical crisis, it was made clear to me that they were more important than I was even though I was closer to the person at the time than they were. The problem is that I was treated like a pariah even though I should have been included.
The last person on this list just does not like me. According to her I am this horrible person who causes her all these problems. She has also accused me of using the loss of my daughter to gain sympathy. I won’t even address the issue of being a bad person. Outside of these four people, other people generally like me. Enough said.
About the loss of my daughter… Before my daughter passed away, I stayed home most of the time and took care of the family. After her loss, I lost my way for a short time. Since then, I have gone back to work, started school and am currently not able to turn around or meet myself coming and going. This means I am more involved and more motivated than I have been in years. Telling someone the loss of her should not have been as hard because it was expected is a horrible thing to say or imply.
I guess my problem is this. I don’t understand how people justify their actions and words toward others. What never ceases to amaze me is how it’s okay for them to treat others in a way they would never take themselves. And you can’t say anything to them because they do not have any problems. They are right no matter what. They can slam you as much as they want and you cannot say anything to them. They accept no responsibility for their actions and anything that happens must be someone else’s fault.
If someone can explain it, please do. How can everything be my fault? There is no way I can be wrong 100% of the time. I’m smart enough to know that.