Friday, September 17, 2010

Are We Going Too Far?

Maybe someone can help me with this. Are we going too far when young men of a certain age, maybe 18 or 19, have a 17 year old girlfriend and they are charged with a felony sex crime? At the risk of bringing down the wrath of all those parents out there who think they should be, I say yes we are. I know….I’m going to hell.

I have read too many stories of these young men who send “photos of themselves” to their girlfriend they are already having sex with and mom and/or dad finding it, then having the boyfriend arrested. Up until this time, the boyfriend was probably welcomed into the home as part of the family. Even if he wasn’t, there isn’t this huge age difference in the two. Most people would consider this a normal age gap in a relationship. The poor kid now has to register as a sex offender and live that way for the rest of his life.

These circumstances are nothing like the Mary Kay Letourneau fiasco or maybe the guy who searches for a young girl on the internet and lures her away. We are talking about a normal relationship between a girl and a boy. They just have more technology available at their fingertips than we used to. What are the lawmakers thinking when they press charges? How do they hang a sex offender tag on a boy with his girlfriend? I don’t get it.

A few years ago, there was a case about an 18 year old boy whose girlfriend was 17. They had been junior high sweethearts so they had been together for about 3 years. He had been considered part of her family and she of his. Well, her dad found out they were actually having sex and had him charged with statutory rape. This was a boy who had NO CRIMINAL RECORD AND WAS ON THE HONOR ROLL AT SCHOOL. He already had a scholarship to go to college. He was going to make something of himself. He was sentenced to 10 YEARS IN PRISON. He isn’t the first and probably won’t be the last.

I think it’s sad that boys like this are branded like that when there is no huge age gap and they were known to be girlfriend and boyfriend. What happened to common sense in law? What damage is done that is not reversible? That boy I told you about? He missed out on a promising life just because the law has no allowances for cases like his. How sad is that?


  1. I think it is way too extreme...think about it. Your 14ish when you start high school...what is the best thing that can happen to a 14-year old girl socially? Dating a senior! They fall in love and stay together (or even if they don't) He's now 25 and she is 21. Girls almost have to choose a guy 4 years older just so they can be on the same maturity level...and that's just science!

  2. I think as long as she's over 16 and he's under 21 it shouldn't be a crime.

  3. As long as it's mutual consent and not harassment I don't see a problem.

  4. I agree with what's already been said, but I'd like to add I get seriously pissed off when I hear about young girls being stupid and sending naked pics to guys via the internet/ phone/ etc. Then the guys getting slapped with charges. I'm talking boyfriend- girlfriend people 16-19. Shouldn't they be old enough to know better? Sorry for the rant it just bugs the hell out of me.

  5. I TOTALLY agree!!
    I lost my virginity at 17 to my boyfriend (who I had known since age 5) and he was 20 or 21 at the time. Sure, he could have been charged with a crime but my mom would not have pressed charges b/c she's not a flippin moron.
    Where I grew up the law says if she's under 17, the age difference has to be over 24 months (or something specific). Basically meaning that if she's 16, she'd better not be dating a college boy haha!
    It may not be perfect but it helps prevent a LITTLE bit of the inane lawsuits.

  6. Daddy can't stand the thought of some boy "doing" his little girl, so he files charges. The same daddy that enjoyed "doing" his girlfriend way back when. It's a shame that the law allows charges at that age. In our state, it's ONLY a crime if the girl is less than 15 years old, AND the guy is more than 4 years older than her. That means she has to be at least 14, and the guy has to be at least 18. Any other ages, and she's fair game.