Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Odd Woman Out

I have to say that for the most part, I feel as though I am the odd person out in my family. Not my birth family, but the one I married into and sometimes with my kids. I don’t look at life the way most of them do. I know that some of the issue with my kids is that they are of a different generation.

I just don’t feel like I fit. No one wants to hear my opinion, ever. I am talked to like I’m a child who has to be taught the right and wrong of life. I am a very passionate person when it comes to how people are treated. I’m not supposed to ask questions to the boys and my husband doesn’t listen to anything I say. In fact if I give an opinion about anything, he does the exact opposite.

I get told, in no uncertain terms that I should not have an opinion. It isn’t in those exact words. But I’m able to read between the lines. I can only joke around if they say it’s ok. And as many of you know, I like to do that a lot. In other words, I can’t be who I truly am around them. Nobody really wants me to say anything. I don’t understand that.

I also found that when I offer help, it is very seldom accepted. A situation recently came up that was difficult for me to with. Someone I knew from high school has been going through some rough times with her daughter. I graduated with her husband and we all used to hang around before graduation and some after we left school. I don't live in that town any more, thank God, but they came to our daughter's funeral and were some of the very few that did. Their daughter is now going through the same type of health crisis my daughter did. She has a brain tumor and the prognosis is not good. Last week she spent a week in a world-renowned hospital that is only a little over an hour from where I live. That means she is almost 9 hours from home. I have offered many times to go with her so she won't be alone and she has never taken me up on that. This was part of her Facebook status yesterday...." it's a long week alone up here & you sure helped me out!!!"

I know some of you might think I shouldn't be hurt by that, but I am one person who may have a clue what it's like to do this by yourself and I'm actually very good in situations like this. Maybe because I never had many options for help when going through most of what I went through and don't understand snubbing the company. I also know part of her wasn't thinking about that, but she knows where I live. I really am not that far. Yeah, it bothers me.

Ok, I’ll shut up now. I’ve said too much.


  1. I can understand being perplexed and hurt by that. I've been in similar situations. I don't know why people do that, i'd much rather have someone who knows than someone who's just trying to empathize.
    As for the family, again, I feel you, sometimes I feel like I might as well be a mute.

  2. if i ever need someone to lean on?

    i'm so calling you!