Wednesday, June 30, 2010

A Slight Improvement And A Challenge

Ok bloggers! We made a slight improvement on attendance over last week. Last week there were 11 entries in the Fawk You Friday blog hop. Thank you very much to the die hards who participated. This week, we slightly more than doubled to 27 participants. I think that’s great, but I want to challenge all my followers. Please, please, please try to join in next week.

As a reminder, Fawk You Friday was started in response to another hop that refused to allow 3 top spots to go to blogs that were trying to raise money for a child with cancer. I find that reprehensible. We all know someone with an ill child who needed a little more help at one point in their struggle and I believe we have an obligation as human beings to support them. I am not saying we should all donate money if we cannot afford it. Far from it. I understand personal finance issues. I just think that the top 3 spots when there are hundreds of people in the hop, is not too much to ask.

So there you have it. I’m asking for your support and your participation this Friday. Let your own followers know about it and urge them to participate. My guess is there will be at least a few who will want to. This is a really fun hop when all of us are involved.

Click on the button for Fawk You Friday here and it will take you to the site where you can get the html for your post. Hopefully, this will help all of you who have been asking about our fun little hop. If you need further assistance, please let me know.

BWS tips button

So my friend, who calls herself A Little Too Crazy To Be Cool, (and she ain’t lying), decided to shower me with accolades for my “hissy fit” by giving me….another award. (Dripping with sarcasm). Thank you so much. Let me proceed with my duties that have been bestowed upon me.

The rules:
1. Thank the one that gave it to you.
2. Write my blog philosophy, motivation, experience in five words.
3. Pass along to 10 bloggers.

Here are my 5 words:
1. Sarcasm – I live for it.
2. Retribution – I live for it.
3. Bitching- I live for it.
4. Feedback – I live for it.
5. Realism – I live for it.

Since Miss Cathy has so graciously changed the rules for me, I am changing it for the next recipients also. I am only passing it on to 4, yes count them, 4, bloggers. They will be so ecstatic I can hear them now. And here they are.
1. Free To Be Mommy
2. Ponderings Of A Crazy Mama
3. Just Thinkin’
4. View From The Shoe

Now for a special award just for my buddy, Cathy. I really hope she feels like the queen of bloggers with this one. She is the deserving recipient of a brand new, just off the presses, highly thought of, most sought after award. Rumor has it that Ashton Kutcher was hoping there would be one for “Twitterers”. Well, I’m sorry to say that Ashton will be sorely disappointed. Let’s get this shindig in gear, shall we?

The rules for this award are simple. Accept it with grace and a smile. Then, pass it on to another blogger you feel is worthy of this award and who will also ensure that it will always be held by someone who truly deserves the honor. Here you go Cathy. Here’s your award.


Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Another Bone

Here’s a question. Why are there so many recipients for one award? Would it be more special if only 1 person was honored and then passed it on to one other honoree? I’m going to say yes. Of course you knew that as soon as I “opened my mouth”.

Some of the awards require them to be passed on to 10 other bloggers. That is a problem for me. I only have 58 followers, as of this writing. I have received 3 awards in the last week or two and none of them have less than 3 I have to pass on. It makes it very difficult for me to pass on that many. All I’m accomplishing is going ‘round and ‘round with the awards. They just come back to me.

I propose that we change this. The rules need to be changed to allow for people to make a single distinction of excellence. This way others who have small followings are not bombarded by multiple awards where they have to figure out whom to pass it on to. I really appreciate the ones I have received I’m just trying to make it easier for those of us with fewer followers.

Now you can slam me if you want. 


I recently read a post asking the question, “Why God?” I have to say it definitely touched a nerve for me. Not because I think there’s something wrong with her, but because I’ve been there. Let me explain, but do not feel sorry for me. I feel like one of the luckiest people that ever walked this earth. Get ready, here it is.

I am the proud mom of 4 awesome, wonderful, loving kids. 2 girls and 2 boys to be exact. My oldest, now 26 and another blogger, has her own little girl now. She’s great. She smart, funny, and she thinks I’m not too bad. That alone should qualify her as the best daughter ever. I have twin boys, now 24, who are just wonderful. One of them has a sense of humor that’s a lot like mine. Very sarcastic and sees odd angles in everyday life. My other son is a lot more serious, but still has an odd sense of humor. What they all have in common is that they tell me I did okay as a mom. Apparently, I didn’t scar them too badly.

I know you’re asking, “What about the 4th child?” Well, that is where my simple question became a mountain. The baby, Amanda, lead a life of what most people would consider to be a hardship. She was born a “normal” baby, healthy. When she was about 18 months old, she began to have problems with her balance and her foot started turning inward. I took her to the doctor who felt she may have a bone issue and set us up with an orthopedist. Of course, the appointment was almost 3 months later. (The pediatrician is no longer seeing children, thank goodness). By the time we saw him, it had become even worse. He immediately got her in to see a pediatric neurologist. Thus began a life of serious ups and downs that would control almost everything we did.

Between the time we were told about her brain tumor, at the age of 2, and the time she left us, she endured 4 craniotomies, radiation therapy, viral encephalitis, 2 strokes, and shunt placement. We had 12 years of relative ease. During that time, we managed her seizures through some trial and error. That’s normal for anyone who knows what seizures are like. And we tried to lead as normal a life as possible.

The kids were in Little League and we took Amanda with us to all the games. She even got to sit in the dugout with the boys’ team because I was coaching. She was the mascot in her little red and black wheelchair. She LOVED that. The other members of the team thought she was fun too, so she fit in well. She cheered, even for the other team because all she knew was that someone was clapping. It was rather amusing. When she was sitting with her big sis in the back of the Suburban, they had a blast watching the game because big sis would tell her when to clap and cheer. And she would have done almost anything her big sis would tell her to do. When we went to big sis’s games, she would always want to know where she was. So we would sit in the back of the Suburban and clap for Cari.

She didn’t just get to go to baseball games. When we lived in Wyoming, we camped every weekend in the summer. And I mean, every weekend. Rain or shine you could find us somewhere in the middle of nowhere. We always had a fire going and that’s where you’d find Amanda and Georgie, the Boxer dog. Being a little chillier in the mountains, Amanda could be found wrapped up in a little sleeping bag to keep her feet and legs warm. It would be fairly close to the fire for more warmth. Her circulation wasn’t that good. You could also find Georgie there. She was hoping Amanda would let the corner of the sleeping bad edge farther away so she would have a place to lay her head. She was such a princess dog. In rain, we stretched a tarp between the trees to keep it off Amanda and her best bud. They loved it. We even had one of those little recliners that she sat in, so she would be comfortable. It was the life.

Amanda was also a huge fan of anything bumpy. We had a dune buggy set up for the old logging trails that criss cross the west. There are miles and miles of them. She couldn’t really go very far in the buggy, but she would be laughing so hard just going 50 feet that she wouldn’t be breathing. We always call that her whole body shake giggle. It would be so funny to her, she would forget to breathe and we would finally say, “OK breathe!” She did the same thing when we went on the snowmobiles. I had her strapped to me with a harness system I made so she could go with us. She would laugh and laugh at the bumps. When we went offroading in the Suburban, we would inevitably hit the washboard part of the old road and she would just crack up. We had more fun watching her sometimes than doing what we set out to do. Above all, she loved all of us unconditionally.

She finally lost the battle with her health issues on January 30, 2004. This is when I started asking that simple question. Amazingly, it wasn’t during her last few months. I was so preoccupied with her comfort and needs that I didn’t stop to think about that part of the equation. When it did come, it came in a massive wave of emotion. And I could not stop it. I spent the better part of the next 2 years in a fog. It was punctuated with panic attacks that I thought were going to kill me. I couldn’t breathe and my heart felt like it would come out of my chest on its own. I should have been under a doctor’s care, but because of personal circumstances, I didn’t have anyone who was in a position to or cared to make sure I got the help I needed. So I slid farther into the hole.

The hole is what I call the place a person goes when they are at their lowest emotional point. While I was in there, a voice in my head came on one day that said, “You’re in this alone. You need to get up if you’re going to survive”. I want to say that was Amanda. She was a person who loved to laugh and loved to live. So the question was, “How can I dishonor her memory like I was?” That’s when I stopped asking the simple question. And what a burden was lifted from me when I did that.

Why is the hardest word in the human language when in reference to our happenstance. Accepting that we will never have all the answers will take that nasty, 3 letter abomination and kick its ass out the door. I always remember part of the Serenity Prayer when I think about this. “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change”. When those words were written, no truer words are needed when we are put to the test. We cannot control everything in our lives. That is a fact. Accepting that fact will be the single, most important part of our ability to be happy.

I know that I was lucky enough to be Amanda's mom. So please don't feel sorry for me. How much more could I ask for?

Monday, June 28, 2010

LMAO Award


Yes, another award. I can hear all you out there, big sighs and all. Let me reassure you that this is a special one, designed by me, begun by me, and most important of all, I can do what I want. It is my blog. Deal with it.

You see, I’ve seen a lot of the other awards out there and I have been the recipient of a couple. What I realized was, we were lacking a specific award for “Just Plain Funny”. I came up with one. It’s called the LMAO Award. The rules are simple. It is given to one recipient that made me LMAO for a certain post. They must then pass it on to another blogger who had one post that made them LMAO. Hopefully it will continue.

Here is our first honoree, A Perfectly Unperfect Girl, for her description of her stalker in last Friday’s Fawk You post. Check it out for yourself. Here it is. Very descriptive and I had to read it more than twice because I kept laughing. Enjoy it, come over and grab the button yourself to pass it on. And, please, find us a good one. I love to laugh.

Awards Again!

Jennifer Juniper has honored me with an award. I gratefully accept this award from her. The rules are simple. Tell 7 things about me then pass it on to 5 other bloggers. Below are my requirements.

1. I love to take photos. It’s almost an obsession.
2. My secret dream trip would be a cruise to the Antarctic.
3. I started playing piano at age 6.
4. Books are my hoarding obsession.
5. Southwest colors are my fave.
6. I’m in school online which was a bit overwhelming at first.
7. I love off road trips.

1. Do I Have To Be A Dink
2. Sober On The Run
3. The Teacher’s Pet
4. The Fabulous Life
5. Etcetera Etc.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Getting To Know You

Getting to know YOU

The Questions

1. If you had 5000.00 to spend on plastic surgery what would you have done? Lots and lots of
2. Do you watch Soap operas and if so what is your favorite and why? No. I can’t seem to get into them.
3. Favorite clothing brand? Walmart is great, but I really LOVE Eddie Bauer t-shirts
4. An afternoon shopping spree at your favorite store or maid service for a year? Maid, for sure. I
would so let someone else clean my house.
5. would you ever vajazzle? NO!
6. Favorite Disney Princess? Ariel. ‘Nuff said.
7. Last movie that made you bawl your eyes out? Steel Magnolias. Watched it at particularly bad
moment in time. Otherwise, I do not cry at movies.
8. Have you ever broken any bones and if so what? No. I have really great bones.


I was unable to locate the button for this so you'll have to go to my buddies blog to see it. Sorry about that.
Here are the rules:
• Thank the blogger who awarded it to you.
• Sum up your blogging philosophy, motivation, and experience using five words.
• Pass it on to 10 other blogs which you feel have real substance.

First of all, I have to thank my friend, the Perfectly Unperfect Girl, for giving me an award. She’s awesome and I love her posts. She keeps me on my toes with her rapier wit. You should check out her blog.

I blog with ATTITUDE. For me, it is reaffirming my right to speak my mind.
I blog with REALISM. I like to keep things as real as possible. Real emotions bring real friends.
I blog for a RELEASE. It is my way of venting without hurting people’s feelings.
I blog for INTERACTION. I love feedback to my writing and comments give me that.
I blog for FUN. I am thoroughly enjoying myself.

And here are the bloggers I feel deserve an award, in no particular order. LOL!

Boobies, Babies, & A Blog
Jennifer Juniper
Adoption of Jane
Things I Can’t Say
Are You Serious
Rogue Tales
Tina Gray
Miss K
Happy Nester
This Little Family

Now go forth and bestow this award on those you feel are worthy.

Soundtrack Of My Life

The challenge for me today was to find songs that mean something to me and explain why that is. So here goes. I will try to do my best. These will not be in any particular order.

1. “Gimme Three Steps” by Lynyrd Skynyrd. This one is a cute story. I have mentioned this one in a previous post. It is the only song one of my boys would sing with me in the car. But he sang with gusto the chorus of the song. I loved it!
2. “The Addams Family” from the tv show. Definitely for my other son. He is my funny man. He’s the joker that just lives for a laugh and he has given me many over the years. This song makes me laugh just like he does. I get to sing it to him when he calls. Luckily that’s often.
3. “Suds In The Bucket” by Sara Evans and “Meet In The Middle” by Diamond Rio. This first always reminds me of the fact that my daughter, at the tender age of 18, left here to move back to Leadville. I even made her sing it for karaoke one night. She did without complaining. The second is the one she used to love to sing in the car with me when they were kids. She knew all the words.
4. “I’m Already There” by Lonestar. I always think of Amanda when the words are “I’m the whisper in the wind, I’m your imaginary friend” I just always think of her being the shadow on the ground. So, yeah, that’s it.
5. Anything by the Bee Gees. Why, you ask? “Saturday Night Fever” was the first R rated movie I saw. I loved John Travolta as Vinnie Barbarino, but he was more than awesome as Tony Minero.
6. “You Can’t Take The Honky Tonk” by Brooks and Dunn. That’s pretty self explanatory. I’m still the tomboy at heart. Give me a great pair of jeans and a t-shirt and I’m good to go.
7. “Suspicious Minds” by The King. I remember sitting in the car with an 8-track player and Elvis’ Greatest Hits and singing away. My baby brother loved Elvis.
8. “Life Is A Highway” by Rascal Flatts. My grandson loves the movie “Cars”. His bed is a Lightning McQueen bed and even at the tender age of 4 (almost 5), he collects all the different Lightning McQueen cars. If it comes on in the car, he tells me to turn it up.
9. “Let Me Be Myself” by 3 Doors Down. I just always wish that I could be me no matter who I’m with. It never seems to happen that way, so I love this song.
10. “In My Life” by George Harrison. The message is that everyone we meet and love throughout our life affects in some way. We touch each other in many ways and this song just reinforces that.

So there you have it. As you will notice, my kids have all their own songs. My daughter may not think that’s the one for her, but I know she’ll understand why. She probably thought I would pick the “Hairbrush Song” by Larry the Cucumber. That one was more for her and Amanda. I was trying to give each one of them their own. The soundtrack of my life seems to revolve around how I feel about other people. Amazing isn’t it?

Saturday, June 26, 2010

New Button Alert!

You all should get an award just for reading my blog. I know it’s an unbearable few minutes in your day. But thanks anyway. I make this post to warn you I will be changing my button soon. I recently got Photoshop Elements 7 and was able to make a button instead of just using one of my photos. I am so happy with that option!

Anyway……Please feel free to come and grab it. I like the new one. I am having a blast with my new found ability to create. Of course they are rather primitive, but that's okay. Can you tell?

Does Moss Really Grow On A Turtle?

At one time I would have said no. But after finding this guy one day, I took that back. I really don’t think he won the race with the hare. How slow could he have been going? The hare must have died of old age and that’s why the tortoise won.

As he slowly made his way toward the finish line, the tortoise could sense victory. Far ahead in the distance he could barely discern the outline of his arch enemy. He knew that the hare took frequent breaks as a way of teasing him and giving him false hope. He didn’t keep track of how many times the hare stopped in front of him. He just knew it gave him a little more time in the quest to win the race. There was something he was not aware of though. It happened during the last break the hare had taken. The hare finally took his last breath. What the tortoise could not see was that rigor mortis was setting into the body of the ancient hare. The race had been going on for so long the hare had reached the end of his life cycle. By the time the tortoise reached the remains of the hare, it was but a shell. And the tortoise had moss growing on his back.

An Award For The Worthy

Until now, I’ve had to rely on my daughter to help me with blogging, but I have graduated, somewhat, and she is to be commended for it. Without her, I would not have been able to get this far. So I am bestowing an award on her for being an awesome supporter of mine during this process. Thanks Cari, you are absolutely to die for as a blogger, but more importantly, as my daughter.

This Too Shall Pass......

This is in response to some comments I received in regards to the post, “It’s One Of Those Days”. I believe this particular quote. The origins are somewhat hilarious if you look at them like I do. Being me, I had to do some research on this particular saying in order to know what I am writing about.

The Persian poet wrote about the fable this saying is attributed to. As the fable goes…..A powerful king asks an assembly of wise men to create a ring that will make him happy when he is sad and sad when he is happy. According to legend and fable, the wise men handed him a very simple ring with only four simple words on it. Those words were, “This too will pass”. When Abraham Lincoln used it in an address, it became instantly popular and has become part of our poetic lore.

Some of you may think all I do is rant, but the rant is my therapy. 99% of the time, I rant and then it’s gone. I move on. My take on this phrase? When it’s bad, it won’t last. When it’s good, it won’t last. In other words, life is a moving picture. No two scenes are ever the same.

Friday, June 25, 2010

I Warned You!

I did. I know I did. I am writing about one of my Fawk You points of contention. This one is beyond my comprehension because it’s just plain laziness. Yes, I have accused someone of laziness. What the hell? Is it really that hard to throw your dirty clothes or towel down a laundry chute that is exactly 48 INCHES AWAY? Yeah, here’s the proof.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Welcome New Fawk You Friday Followers!

BWS tips button


Welcome to all the new Fawk You Friday followers! I am so glad you are here. I am looking forward to finding new friends!

1. People leaving dirty clothes and towels in the bathroom, 3 FEET FROM THE LAUNDRY CHUTE!
2. Leaving glasses and bowls on the end table, BECAUSE YOU’RE TOO LAZY TO WALK TO THE SINK!
3. Kid in the neighborhood who won’t leave my dogs alone and CAUSE THEM TO BARK INCESSANTLY!
4. Not being able to COME UP WITH AN IDEA FOR A POST!
5. Never having ENOUGH MONEY!
6. Allergies that WON’T LET UP!
7. HATERS! Need I say more?
8. People who send me links to a website that only wants me to PARTICIPATE IN SURVEYS SO THEY CAN SEND SPAM!!!

Don’t be surprised if I end up posting about one or more of these subjects at a later date.

Reading Update

I was very pleasantly surprised by the comments about the reading post. I was right about the passion for reading. Bully for me!  Avid readers will have that passion for their genre and I am one of those people. Believe me when I say I am not putting anyone down for their particular genre. I truly applaud anyone who reads anything. I don’t care if it’s just the newspaper. Reading is something everyone should do every day, in my opinion.

Non-fiction, I must say can be a difficult choice for me. If the book is about someone who is chronically ill, I have a very hard time reading it. It is especially trying when it involves a child. That would hit too close to home for me. It would explain why I choose true stories that don’t involve health issues. But I do like to read non-fiction.

When it comes to comics or graphic novels, I think I know why they can be a problem for me. And it’s actually a simple one. I have found that my imagination is the best part of my reading experience. It’s like when they turn a really good novel into a movie. There is no way that movie will ever be as good as my imagination. You cannot put in a movie the descriptive words that are found in books. There are very few examples of truly successful books being made into a great movie. I grew up with Nancy Drew books and I became Nancy when I read them. So I am not the visual person that will really enjoy comics or graphic novels.

With fantasy, it’s hard for me to say. I really have only read a couple books of fantasy and those were part of the Harry Potter series. I was a personal aid for a young lady at the high school. She absolutely LOVED Harry Potter. Because she couldn’t read herself, I read them to her. I enjoyed that, but I suspect it had more to do with her reactions to it than my own. Those are the only ones I have read. I have not picked up another one. It just doesn’t pull me. I think it may have something to do with the fact that it isn’t my first love.

Historical fiction is an odd thing for me. Most of the time I would never pick one up, but one of my favorite, favorite authors is Clive Cussler. He writes a detective character that is based in the early 1900’s and I absolutely love that series. The thing is, it’s the only historical fiction I seem to be drawn to. That may have more to do with Cussler’s writing style though. It has mystery, murder, and thriller all rolled into one which adds to the pull for me.

I will always be a Stephen King, Dean Koontz, James Rollins and Preston/Child fan. They usually deal with subjects a little out of the realm of “normal”. My favorite book of all time is “The Stand”. Talk about the ultimate war of good vs. evil. I have “Under The Dome” but have not read it as I have been busy with school. That usually takes away from my reading urge. I’m still secretly hoping for more of Odd Thomas, but I don’t think that’s coming. What draws me most of the time though are murder mysteries. Anything by John Sanford, Catherine Coulter, and Dennis Lehane will catch my eye very quickly. The thrill of the hunt is such a rush for me.

The question has come up again about how to join in the Fawk You Friday blog hop. I am including the button with this post again for anyone who needs to find it. Click on the button and you will be taken to our host site at Boobies, Babies, & A Blog. Scroll down a little ways and on the right side of the screen, you will find the html to include in your post. Go back to your blog and place it at the top of the post you will use to enter the hop. Make your post tomorrow morning then click on the title of that post. After you do that, go back to our hostess’s site and that will be the address you need to enter into the McLinky. And don’t forget to remove the http:// before you paste your address in. I promise it will give you an error. I know from past experience. LOL! That will enter you into the hop and you can hop to your heart’s content. I know I do. Have fun with it!

BWS tips button

What Books Do You Read? Or Do You Read?

Anything Stephen King, although I have one of his not read. Same with Dean Koontz as I have one of his I haven’t read either. School has kept me too busy and I temporarily lost the urge to dive in to a book. Needless to say, I have a few that have been purchased and not read. I would consider that a shame, but I know they will be there when I’m ready to start reading again.

I’ve never really understood how people don’t get into books. No matter what genre you like, delving into a book is such an escape. If you like non-fiction and love books about Queen Victoria or Henry VIII’s wives, you can lose yourself in that time period. If you like science fiction, you can picture yourself with all the gadgets they must have. Maybe you’re one of those who LOVE the romance books. You are temporarily swept off your feet by some dashing, muscled, rogue. Now who doesn’t have that fantasy?

I do have some questions about the genres that people choose. I can’t do the post without some curiosity as to why someone chooses the types of book they read. We’ll start with science fiction. It is possibly the one I least understand. I just can’t get into the whole concept. Strange beings from outer space, very strange pieces of technology, and weird happenings are things I don’t understand. I just can’t get into it. I suppose if I could find a really good murder mystery in space, I’d be all for it. The odd part of it is, I loved the original “Star Wars” trilogy and “2001: A Space Odyssey” and they continue to be some of my all-time favorite movies. It’s just the books I don’t get.

Now, I’ll take on the romance novels. I admit it. I read them voraciously when I was younger. Then I grew up! The handsome stranger does not ride in on the white horse (or drive in with the white sports car). It isn’t all bubbly, cuddly, mind-blowing, off the charts romance, and everything is hunky dory! So they don’t do anything for me anymore. Sorry to the girls who love them but the fairy tale doesn’t usually last that long.

Comic books are another issue with me. Since they are mainly cartoons, they don’t really count in my book. I mean, seriously, there isn’t much to read. It’s like saying rap “music”. Really? There is no music in rap. They just talk in rhythm. You know it’s true.

Non-fiction books are hit and miss for me. My favorite non-fiction book would have to be Anne Frank’s Diary. I was mesmerized as a kid with that one. The second favorite would be “Undaunted Courage” by Stephen Ambrose. That’s the story of Lewis and Clark. There may be an underlying reason these are my two favorites. They are tales of adventure, danger, and discovery. Those are my absolute downfall in books.

I love an adventure and since I can’t live one every day, I read about them. Murder mysteries, action adventures, and thrillers are the bomb. I love Clive Cussler, Catherine Coulter, Stephen King, James Rollins, Preston/Child, and Dean Koontz. They all write slightly different types of books, but they all have intrigue and some type of danger. (In my alternate life, I am an international spy. Yeah, really).

Tomorrow is Fawk You Friday! I am so looking forward to this. Remember to link up with our host at Boobies, Babies, & A Blog by clicking on the link below. I promise you will have fun.

BWS tips button

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Putting Some Feelers Out There

I was wondering how many of you have blogs that your family reads or you focus on things such as product reviews and giveaways. Those blogs don’t really allow for real rants. The reason I am asking is simple. I know my daughter does and she can’t rant on hers like she would like to at times. It stands to reason there are others like her. I even have separate blogs for family so they don’t see what I really like to write. LOL!

Here’s the question. Who wants to rant, bitch, or speak your mind without having to worry about your family, or some friends, hear what you have to say? I am offering to let you have the chance to guest bitch on my blog so you can vent your frustration in a trusted place. Let me know what you think. Comment on here or send me a message to let me know. I’m waiting. Don’t make me wait too long.

It's One Of Those Days

It is already one of those days. I am sad today. I think that reality has hit me square in the face and I am having a hard time with it. My thoughts about life are simple, I am a realist. Life is never easy. We make it what it is. Do we dwell on the negative or continue forward and look for the good? That is the conundrum we all face. About 99% of the time I blow off the bad stuff in favor of the good. I will be irritated about something for a short time and then it’s gone. That’s why you get posts from me. I write, therefore I purge. But today is not good.

Reality is a bitch. You can be slapped in the face with it. Once in a while it slaps a little harder than normal. Yesterday I was angry, today I am just sad for now. It won’t last, but I had to purge. So it will be better later. Nice talk we had.

Tag Teaming On Yahoo IM

Yes, my nieces, ages 13 and 10, have discovered the art of instant messaging. For the last couple of months, I have been messaging with the older one almost every day. We live about 460 miles apart so we don’t get to talk much. This has changed since she found out she could easily talk to me via the computer. Now we talk all the time. Sometimes it may seem like TMI, but, all in all, it’s a great time.

The challenge is simple. At any given time I can have 3 separate IM boxes up on my computer with all three of them typing at me at the same time. I’m old folks! Too much stimulation may overload my ticker and then we’ll all have a problem. I am all of 47 thank you very much. The 3 I have up are usually my daughter because we are both on the computer all day it seems. The other 2 are my nieces. Today was interesting as they were all sending messages at the same time and I was trying to return a comment. Before I could finish one, 2 more would already be awaiting answers. How funny is that? Yesterday was even more confusing. I had all 3 boxes up AND someone on Facebook IM. I was thoroughly confused for about 20 minutes.

Remember, I was not raised in the era of home computers. All we knew about computers were that they were held in secret at NASA for crying out loud. I didn’t see the first one, outside of pictures, till I started working at McDonald’s when I was 16. Even that one was very rudimentary. As far as we knew, they were like HAL in “2001: A Space Odyssey”. They were just looking for a way to get us. Dave was victorious against HAL, but Dave was much smarter than we were. This meant they were kind of scary in our small world. My how things have changed.

Once again, I am reminding everyone about Fawk You Friday. Click on the button below and you will be able to get the button for your post. Be not afraid of this hop. It was started in support of a child with cancer and we should all suck it up and join. :0

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Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Certain People Think I'm A Bitch....In Person

And why I do not know. I do not call people names. When something is said to me, I do my best to absorb it before I say anything. I choose to not react to what I hear or see. I do this because I feel the other person deserves the opportunity to speak and be heard. Apparently, when in person, asking a question about the situation is considered being a bitch. How dare I even ask a question about the situation! The reaction is not that I am trying to figure anything out it’s that I am being a bitch because I do not want to do something for them. Always thing the worst first, yeah, that breeds loyalty and respect and love.

I can’t understand. Those who automatically think the worst of everyone around them will grow old and be alone because no one will want to be around them. I know I don’t. It’s just amazing to me that the person who is supposed to know me the best chooses to think I’m just a bitch.

Here’s to all the rest of you who need to vent a little. Join us on Friday so you too can say Fawk You to everyone who disses you.

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Get Your Lists Ready!

It is that simple. Make a list. Don’t we do that every day for some reason or other? I know you can do it. In fact, I’m challenging you to do it. I write about things that irritate me every day and since I am not someone who usually dwells on the negative, I know there are things that irk you to no end. Little pet peeves are things all of us have. They don’t have to be filled with nasty hatred or with foul language vitriolic nonsense, they just need to be written and posted.

I have heard that some people have decided not to participate because they feel it is not a nice hop to join. I think those folds are people who really don’t get the message behind it. It is a way to vent without being totally being jerks. We can air those little things that make us want to strangle someone or something without going to jail. Yeah! That’s possible to do! Ranting is your friend. Trust me, I know this for fact. Psychiatrists even think it is good for the emotional health of all of us. Imagine that!

To help us out, just click on the button here and you will be able to get that same button for your post on Friday. Please remember to use that post when linking to the hop. And make sure you let us know what or who is driving you crazy this week. I’ll see you there!

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Monday, June 21, 2010

To All The Haters Out There

One of the blogs I follow was recently attacked over an ingredient she uses in a recipe. She’s been using the same ingredient for years and got the recipe from her grandmother. For crying out loud! What difference is it to anyone else what ingredient she uses? IT’S HER RECIPE!!! And what happened to just being nice to people? Since when was it ok to blast someone else for an ingredient on the person’s own blog? Then hijack it to yours and not let the person defend herself? What a low down, cowardly thing to do.

And let me tell her that when she messes with a genteel, southern lady, she best be prepared. They are NOT to be messed with. Trust me, I know. They have ways of making you suffer. All the haters out there better watch out. You will get yours.

Everyone use this Friday to vent on all the people or things you want to with Fawk You Friday. Something tells me Miss Know It All will be included on mine.

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Comments Are Great!

I have to say I am so stoked about all the comments I’ve been getting about my posts. I LOVE THEM!!! The more the merrier I say. And, the more I see, the more I realize you all are as “crazy” as I am. The blogs I follow have one thing in common. We are all irreverent about our lives. That includes the husbands, the kids, and everyone around us. In other words, they all irritate us at some point. Some things are worse than others, but we still have those tiny pockets of frustration that we just need to release.

Here is how you get your own Fawk You Friday button. Click on the picture of Fawk You Friday and it will take you to my buddy at Boobies, Babies, & A Blog. Scroll down the page and you will find the button on the right hand side of her page. Just copy the html, paste it into your post, write your post, and hit publish. After you have done that, click on the title to that post. That is the exact address for your post. Copy that, go back to our wonderful host’s site (Boobies, Babies, & A Blog); scroll down until you find the post for Fawk You Friday. There will be a link at the bottom of that post you will be able to enter your address and join the hop.

Take a big breath now everyone. Continue to compile those lists. We all know we have them. Comment on mine and I will definitely comment on yours. I’m looking forward to Fawk You Friday after reading all the comments I have received lately. I am encouraged that we will have a much better turnout this week.

The instructions are a bit complicated, I know. When I started blogging, I was completely overwhelmed by some of the technical aspects of it. I have heard from a couple of people and they are too. I am just trying to help anyone who needs exact directions to succeed in the hop. We like to have more hoppers.

I know you will find new friends, blogs you will be head over heels about, and find new followers for yours. I am also confident you will have a blast with this. Please come join us and enjoy the day. I am including the button here so you will be able to go right to my friend’s site and get it for yourself. See you Friday!

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My Fantasy Life

First of all, I’d be about 40 lbs lighter. That is the norm for my fantasy. Of course, I have been there, but it usually coincides with things in my life being a little better. Actually, a lot better. It seems I am a serial eater when I am unhappy in my life. So that would be the start for me. Oh to be gorgeous again.

Now, where would I live? Right now I live in the upper Midwest and I am not that thrilled with it. I don’t like a lot of heat or humidity. I am your low humidity and snow kind of girl. We get the snow here, but the humidity can go somewhere else. There is no powder snow here. We also don’t have places to camp in the middle of nowhere. Way farther west of here, someone can find a spot in the middle of the forest and not have camping neighbors. It isn’t that I mind people, but when I camp, I want it to be a solitary experience.

When I imagine my career, I imagine being a successful business owner of a guide service. That would be so awesome. If it’s in the mountains or desert, there are endless possibilities for guiding. It would be somewhere to accommodate snowmobiles in the winter, jeep and atv tours in the summer, with a little rafting thrown in. I would, of course, be extremely successful. So successful it would allow me to take the vacations I wish to take.

And what is my ultimate vacation scenario? A cruise in the Antarctic would be heaven to me. Watching the orcas among the icebergs would be a dream. The next vacation would be to Africa for an old fashioned safari. You know the kind, like in the old Hollywood movies. Such a fun time would be had by me. I can’t leave out Australia and New Zealand. The Outback with Ayers Rock would be so cool. And New Zealand should just speak for itself. (At least it does in my mind and since this is my blog, it’s the only one that counts.)

I know that isn’t everything I’d like to have in my fantasy life, but some of it just needs to be kept private. You know what I mean. We’ve all been there. I would like to hear some of your fantasy lives. I know you have them so let’s hear it. What would you do if you could do anything?

Please everyone, remember Fawk You Friday. Let's try to make this Friday a real success. I will be reminding you again later this week. Thank you!

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Sunday, June 20, 2010

Getting to know YOU

Getting to Know You
My daughter plays this every week so I thought I would join in. Here goes nothing.

1. While at the beach, pool, etc..Do you cover up your assets or show them off?
Definitely cover up. I’m too old to show it off.
2. Road trips or Plane trips?
Road trip for sure. There is nothing like a road trip to see the things you can’t from the sky.
3. I can't stand it when...?
I am not listened to. It is a real problem for me. I do not like being dismissed.
4. Have you ever gone topless at the beach?
5. How many blog carnivals do you do a week?
Three I think.
6. My favorite thing about the weekend is...?
I don’t know. NASCAR I think.
7. Pancakes or waffles?
Pancakes with honey instead of syrup.
8. Water Park or Amusement Park?
Water park during the summer months.

Try it you'll like it!

A Ramble

Before we start, let me say Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there. I still have to call mine today. He's busy at the moment. (He's probably delivering a sermon right now). So dads, enjoy your day!

I wasn’t sure what to write about today so I thought a ramble would be a good thing. You see, it allows for many different trains of thought to find its way to a page, in this case a post. My how things have changed since I was a kid. Internet? What’s that?

Rene Descartes wrote “I think, therefore I am”. Does that include crazy thoughts? Just because I think, it doesn’t mean I’m sane. Sanity went out the window with me years ago. That’s what happens when you have children and you are married to someone who is oblivious to your feelings.

So what do I think? I think lots of things. I wonder why I can’t find a job. That answer is simple, the economy and the fact that I don’t have a degree yet. I prefer not to dwell on that issue, at least not today. I think about the possible drawbacks for continuing on with my education. That one is easy. I’m 47 years old and I’ll be paying back student loans FOREVER. I mean till I die. Wow! With my family history, that could happen before I even finish school. That could be a positive. Yeah, I know negativity. So it’s on to the next thought.

Facebook is next on the list I guess. I am relatively new to Facebook. I make comments on there as it does ask what’s on my mind. However, I don’t get much in the way of responses. It seems that most of the people who wanted to be my friend are really faking it. There are a small number of people who actually respond to me. What’s up with that? I try to comment on their posts. I thought that’s what it was for. Silly me for thinking that.

I think about the fact that there is only one bathroom in my house that I have to share with 2 men. Aaarghhh!!!!!!! All you ladies out there know how annoying that is. For all their assertions that they understand all things scientific, they have somehow neglected to admit the laws of physics apply to them too. Splash?

Still wondering why no one wants to participate in the Fawk You Friday. It really is a chance to blast the haters and get your aggression out (at least to a degree). It was started for a good cause, so it should be a priority for all bloggers who know about it. I guess we’ll see if anyone participates this coming Friday.

I wonder where all the people like me are. I know there are the ones who start their careers late in life with kids grown and the future in front of them. I just don’t know where they are. I don’t find them blogging that’s for sure. Of course, they may be there; they just don’t like my blog. I can be a bit brash for some people.

There’s my ramble I guess with nothing else at this point. If you think of anything, let me know. Maybe I’ll figure out something to say about that too.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

I Am Disappointed

I have to say I am disappointed in the turnout for Fawk You Friday this last week. I know there are a lot of people on vacation right now, but I also know that not all of them are. Which explains my disappointment. Here is the history behind Fawk You Friday.

Fawk You Friday was started as a response to another blogger who refused to give the top 3 spots to a group of people trying to raise money for a child with cancer. It is a child with cancer!!! How do you refuse that? I know I couldn’t, so my friend at started this one. I thought it was a great idea to give everyone a chance to air our issues and find new friends. So I join with enthusiasm every week.

Yesterday, only 11 people joined in the fun. What happened? I found some great people who have great blogs the very first time I joined. I would like to find more. If you are reading this, please remember next Friday and join us for a good time. You never know who you’ll meet. It may be your next best friend.

I'm A Law Breaker

Yes, I’m a law breaker. Let me explain. I take a lot of photos so it isn’t unusual for me to find a place to drive around, usually a park or campground. We have place called Goose Island not far from town that’s a really neat place to go. It has winding roads that meander through the park. There are places to pull over that I take frequent advantage of because I always see something that I “need” to take a photo of. I learned today what a terrible person I have been.

Because I say meander, I really do mean meander. I drive slowly through the park, just enjoying the peaceful surroundings. It gives me the opportunity to see more and find a photo op. Here’s the drawback. OTHER DRIVERS!!! Apparently there is an unwritten law that says you are not allowed to slow down and enjoy the view. It gives the law abider the right to tailgate the law breaker. It gives them the right to drive a monster ass truck and run their bumper right up to bumper of the “going too slow” driver. They are allowed to do this for as long as the slow driver is in front of them.

When the slow driver pulls over to let them go around, they are then allowed to flip off the one who pulled over. I believe it’s to teach them a lesson about the effects of slow driving. In addition to flipping off the slow drivers, they are also supposed to give them an extremely irritated and dirty look that is intended to shame them into driving faster. They can even be seen mouthing filthy words to the one who is disrupting their safe and enjoyable drive. I will have to do some research, but I believe it is also a requirement as part of the slow driver’s punishment. If I find out any new info, I’ll be sure and let you know.

I think the lesson we should all take from this is quite simple folks. DO NOT slow down and enjoy the scenery or life. Just drive as fast as you can through life and you’ll be just fine.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Fawk U Friday! And Friday Follow!

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For Fawk You Friday I have a challenge for you. Here goes!

So what would you do…….if you could tell someone off and actually made them realize how much they had wronged you? What were the circumstances of the wrong? What would you say? Who would witness it? I’ve opened my problems to you now let me hear from you. We all need to vent a little and sometimes a lot. Let’s hear it.

Mine is as follows:

I would be able to tell my in-laws how much they hurt me. How they ignored how I might feel all these years because they always felt they were better than me. I was the outlaw of the family. The people who would witness it would be my family who NEVER treated their son that way. EVER! Maybe that would get through to them.

My husband, their son, would be included in the carnage. I would lay into him about how he abandoned my emotionally when I needed him to be there the most. He was more concerned with himself than with my emotional health. Just ignore it and leave. That’s his motto. If this was said in front of his friends and they realized how little he cared for my well-being, maybe he would then realize how insensitive his has been and apologize.

I know, I can always dream, but since that leads nowhere, I’ll just say I’m done. It’s time to move on.

My Last Couple Of Days

The last couple of days at my house have not been easy. In fact, they have been extremely difficult. My son is now gone and I don’t know when, or if, he’ll be back and I am nothing more than a liar. The time has come to make a decision. Living with someone who has no problems calling his wife, and daughter for that matter, a liar is too much.

Here’s the story. My “husband” lives with this idea that he is owed by the world, but more specifically, me and the kids. We are supposed to worship the ground he walks on and he is not obligated in any way to be emotionally supportive to us. I say this because we are not able to talk to him about anything significant. He doesn’t listen or he acts like you have a problem because you don’t look at the situation from his perspective. What this turns out to be is that he can’t be bothered by outside events or emotions.

Last night he blew up. Our son did not mow the yard when he told him to so he lost it. Now, our son has emotional issues that make it difficult for him to cope in normal ways. I’m not in any way excusing him for not doing what he was asked to do. He should have just gone and mowed the yard. What ended up happening was my husband calling me a liar and our son not coming back here.

I can’t continue this. I know I will die if I don’t do something else. Right now I have nowhere to go so I’m in a spot. I have spent my entire married life not being good enough for him or his family. Of course, my family would never treat him the way he and his have treated me so I’m not sure where the idea that they somehow are better than me comes from. Last night he called me a liar and he’s had no problem in the past calling me a fucking bitch, so I know how he feels.

There will be a change. I just don’t know when or how at this point. I’ll keep you posted.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

I Write Because I Can

Yes, I think I’m a decent writer, but the fact is, I write because I have blogs. Yes, you heard me I have the plural of blog. I have one at that is a photo blog. There is also the family friendly one, mostly my family, at I use it to update for the family that lives far, far away. Like 460 miles away. There is only so much they can take when I am ranting.

I have to blame one of my profs for the writing obsession. She loved my narrative stories I wrote for class because I tried to infuse humor into them. There is usually something that struck me as funny during most of the memories I have of my childhood and when mine were little. I kind of like to laugh and enjoy things so I figure there is something amusing in almost everything we do. Why not write about it?

I wrote and rewrote so many times I found out I loved the process of it. Making sure the wording was just right, the sly humor was so sly, and the story was memorable. I started looking for excuses to write. That’s how the first one came about. Then I rediscovered the reason I love my camera. The photo blog was born.

But there was still something lacking. I had ideas about people and happenings that I couldn’t publish on the blog because I would have caused several heart attacks in my family. You see, I’m not like them. I have ideas they wouldn’t understand. My political views are too liberal for them. (Hence, the myocardial infarctions concern.) I also talk about some of them in this blog. Oops! That just would not do.

So this is my rant blog. This is my place to air my feelings about anybody and everybody no matter who they are. Of course, my kids probably won’t be on here, because they really don’t irritate me too much anymore. They’re older now and I find them most amusing and fun to be around.

That isn’t the same with in-laws. I have only one sister-in-law who has always been a huge support for me. She’s great. The rest of them are different. There have been instances of friction. And they weren’t so pretty either. You will probably meet them here at some point or other. There is also the occasional person in the other car, the cashier who doesn’t know how to be a least decent, or someone I just run into on the street. It can also be the electronic equipment that doesn’t do exactly what I want it to do. You never know.

So be prepared. I will be blunt but I don’t use a lot of bad language. You just may hear something……funny. But I guarantee there will be a rant.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

The In Laws Are Coming!

Oh my! Yes, they will be here July 2nd. I cannot even begin to tell you how apprehensive I am about this. And they will be here for ten, yes I said ten, days. To top that off, I will be kicked out of my own bed for the duration. How fun does that sound? They will be arriving on a train, which means they will have no car of their own and, because of my husband, the only other vehicle we have is mine. Who do you think will be left stranded for hours at a time? It won’t be anyone else but me.

I am a woman who “has never been good enough for her son”. Now I have had his last name for almost 27 years, but that doesn’t make a difference. That entire time I have been aware that I have to watch everything I say. If I make a comment that is not just right, it will come back to haunt me later, because my husband will inevitably say something to me about it while defending them. I am always the one who is wrong, no matter the situation. If you need an example, I have a previous post located at that explains some of what I have endured for the last 27 years.

I have been told I need to get over it and I do not dwell on it. This panic comes up when I know I will be seeing them. Last year when they came here and stayed for a week, my father-in-law became demanding. He would order me to get him something and expected to be waited on. This from the same man who treated me like dirt when my husband was in the hospital. I don’t know what will happen with him this time. I know I’ll be on pins and needles the whole time they are here. I try not to let it bother me, but I think the history is so long that I can’t get past it.

In my own weird sense of the way things should be is the answer I believe. I have never been validated by them or my husband. I get the idea that I’m supposed to just shut up and take whatever they throw at me because I somehow owe them. The problem for me is that my family would NEVER have done that to them and there aren’t too many times in my life that I felt I needed to be validated. Most of the time I don’t care what someone else thinks. I would never say that I never feel that way. I have moments of irritation like everyone else. But once in a great while, there will be a series of events that are harder to get past. Their attitude toward me over the years was the result of my inability to get past it. My failing I know. I should be a bigger person, but, damn it, I just can’t this one.

Tuesday Tag-Along!

Tuesday Tag-Along

I occasionally write stories about when my kids were young. In fact, I’ve written several. This is one I thought I would share with you all. It was so funny at the time and still is. I hope you enjoy it as much I did recalling it. It took place in December of 1992. Without further ado, here’s how we met Georgie.

We were fortunate to have the best dog in the world when our kids were still young. Her name was Georgie. Now my sister-in-law and I have differing opinions as to how she got her name, but the result was the same. She was still the best dog ever. Now I know there are going to be some of you out there that will disagree with me and say you had the best dog. Because of how she came into our lives and how she left it, I will respectfully disagree with you until I die. So here’s the story.

Keith drove a Schwan’s truck for about two years when we lived in Georgetown, IL. He had a few routes in the country which meant he met several dogs in a day’s time. There was a particular house where a certain boxer was residing. They called her Baby. She was a flashy fawn with her ears cropped, her tail docked, and a very thin little girl. The story he was told was that she had been found alongside a road with a crushed back right foot and three puppies that did not survive. She was near starvation. When she was rescued, she weighed a mere 17 pounds. (Boxers her size, usually weigh between 50 and 60).
The lady who had her told the pound she was in to call her before they euthanized her in the event no one claimed her. She had taken such a liking to the abandoned dog that she wanted to keep tabs and find out who adopted her. Georgie was literally within minutes of being euthanized when the lady called them. She refused to let them and took her home. The rest is history and the makings of the greatest dog ever.
Keith called me to ask if I thought it would be okay to bring her home one night. I said it was no problem and he did. Little did I know what a major impact her addition to the family would be. And it all started the very next morning about 6 a.m.
We awoke to children’s horrifying screams. I don’t know if you are aware of how a boxer greets people, but let me tell you, there is an inordinate amount of snorting, bouncing, and u-turning going on. Imagine being woke up that early in the morning by a snorting creature that wasn’t there the night before. That is how she greeted the kids. Because I was still half asleep, I did not have a clue as to why they were screaming. It wasn’t until I reached their room did I understand what was going on. In the middle of the room is Georgie, snorting and bouncing in all her boxer glory. Cari, Brandon, and David are trying their utmost best to get away from her while the youngest, and smallest, kid cannot get her blankets off fast enough. Amanda was so excited to see this dog she would reach for the dog then try to pull the blankets off. The whole time she was trying to scoot down to the end of the bed. The smallest and weakest child had no fear.
We laughed so hard we were crying. I don’t think the older three were too happy with us about that, but they got over it soon enough and grew to love her. She was the dog they will remember for the rest of their lives and I would agree she was the best.

Monday, June 14, 2010

My Madness

Many things factor into my madness. My childhood was an interesting combination of influences. I am a preacher’s kid who grew up in the 60’s and 70’s. I was well aware of the Cold War, Vietnam, and the hippie generation. I wore bell bottoms, now called low riders, platform shoes and tube tops. Certain life events have greatly contributed to my psyche since then. The combination of all these factors made me the totally mixed up person I am today.

Imagine growing up, from the time before you have any cognizant memories, in the church. Not only is your dad a preacher, but your grandfather and two uncles are also in the ministry. My childhood was rooted in the church. One of my brothers is now in the ministry, but he jumped ship and went to the Baptists. (!) My own ponderings about life began as I aged.

It was a time when the world was able to get more news faster than it ever had. I saw news reels of soldiers in Vietnam and the fighting they were going through. I vividly remember a photo that showed the execution of a North Vietnamese soldier. That particular photo won a Pulitzer. It had a part in shaping my view of war and my sense of fairness. I felt bad for the executed soldier and loathing for the one who did the deed. It was unfair in my mind even though the executed soldier was on the opposing side. I felt no one deserved that.

During the same time, the Cold War was still in everyone’s mind. There was always the constant worry that the “big one” was coming. The incident at the Bay of Pigs in 1962 set in motion the bomb shelter craze. It was considered the thing to do so you could survive the blast. Even through the birth of my first child I had that in the back of my mind. It took years to go away.

I also grew up in the age of the Civil Rights Act. It was enacted in 1964 but it was still being contested by places that did not want to see it enforced. People who were working to get African Americans registered to vote were still disappearing or being murdered in the south long after the Civil Rights Act was put in place. I heard all the stories of the time. It was still big news into the 70’s.

I have to admit, I was totally confused. This time period in my life shaped how I feel about the death penalty, equal rights, religion, and politics. I am a walking contradiction. It is hard to explain, but I will try to do so as succinctly as possible.

I disagree with the death penalty for one simple reason. Executing an innocent person is not worth the cost. On the other hand, putting a person in prison for life may cause more suffering for that person, but I feel they should suffer for not following the rules that the rest of us have to follow. That is the law and order part of me. The practical side of me knows that when government has to defend that death sentence, it costs more than ten times the amount it would cost to house them for the rest of their lives.

Equal rights are near and dear to my heart. Because life can be so unfair, I feel we should strive to treat everyone with the same respect and dignity we feel we should receive. These feelings extend to everyone regardless of race, creed, sexual orientation, or any kind of handicap. I know that discriminating against others will diminish humanity and show we are no more than animals.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

My Personality Test Oh My!

Once in a while I think of something absolutely ridiculous to do. I thought a personality test would be funny as I already consider myself a bit off. I have taken one of these before through my Psych class at school. I find these just fascinating and probably very wrong, at least about me. I chose a couple of them for kicks and giggles.

The first one is a psychology test. According to this site, I am perfectly sane. Little do they know. The results were as follows:
Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Low
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low

This is the website that is absolutely hilarious to me. It’s the Jung Typology Test. It can be found at I recommend taking this just for the laughs. As you will see, mine are considerably amusing.

According to this one, I am a mastermind. (Picture that being said with sarcasm). LOL!!! I run with the likes of Alan Greenspan, Ben Bernanke, Dwight D. Eisenhower, General Ulysses S. Grant, Frideriche Nietzsche, Niels Bohr, Peter the Great, Stephen Hawking, John Maynard Keynes, Lise Meitner, Ayn Rand, Sir Isaac Newton, C. G. Jung, Michel de Montaigne, Michel Nostradamus, and Ada Lovelace. Masterminds comprise only about 1% of the population. Are they serious?

I have an INTJ personality which means Introverted, iNtuitive, Thinking, and Judging. It sounds like I may have a conflicted personality. I mean, intuitive and judging don’t usually go hand in hand, do they? Let’s break this down shall we?

Introverted I definitely agree with. I prefer my own company most of the time. It isn’t that I don’t enjoy other people’s company at all, but I am not a social person. I learned a long time ago that you will only have a small number of people in your life that is constant. If you are lucky, you will have a couple of them outside of family members. My best friend is my mom. (Second is my daughter, she’s just awesome). Mom is the one I call when I need to hear a familiar voice. I know, aw! How sweet! Let’s move on.

Intuitive is probably an accurate statement. Since I started back to school in the quest for a real degree, I am looking at the big picture. I see possibilities, not the grim reality of today. I want to dream so this makes sense to me. For years I raised my kids and focused on the immediacy of the moment. That is necessary when kids are asking you a million questions all at the same time. Remember, I had four.

And I would never disagree with the Thinking part of that assessment. Of course I’m brilliant. Don’t you agree? I thought so. Why else would you be reading this?

Judging is also an accurate statement. I have lines in life I refuse to cross. Those include name calling, stealing, murder, any kind of sexual abuse, and being phony. Not necessarily in that order either. You see, a murderer can’t really hide who he/she is. A rapist or pedophile can’t either. Phonies, on the other hand, are a different story. They are everywhere because they feel they need to project a certain image of themselves to the world. The problem is they hurt a lot of people along the way. So my advice to all is simple. Be real and keep your enemies closer! (This philosophy of mine may account for the introverted part of my assessment).

They go on to say that my best career choices would be in the science and technical area with the social services being a lawyer or librarian. Did anyone notice that most of these are more solitary types of careers? I’m thinking they are saying that I need to be in a room by myself. Possibly a rubber one. As far as the lawyer bit goes, no one likes them. I would say my personality is one of anti-socialism. No wonder my mom always calls me a hermit.

As you can see, I am a conflicted, confused, and crazy woman. There IS a reason I call this my rant blog. It is my therapy!

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Staying One Step Ahead

Yes, that’s what I’m trying to do. My son may have finally come to his senses!!!!!!!!!!!! I can only hope it’s real. Today, he asked me to change his Facebook photo because it still had the ex on there with him. He wanted her gone from the picture so he asked me to choose one of our English Mastiff, Boo. LOL!

Anyway, she’s been texting him again which absolutely drives him crazy. She just bothers him with whatever is on her mind. It can even be that she’s telling him she wants him to terminate his rights for the kids. She will then turn around and ask for money or demand that he take the kids immediately. I know I’m revisiting something I’ve posted about before, but she is such a pain. Tomorrow we will be changing his phone number so she will have to go through me from now on.

I secretly hope she bugs the hell out of me, so I can charge her with harassment. Is that bad of me? Not really. I don’t want her to harass me at all, but there is a part of me that wants to figure out how to needle her just enough to drive her crazy. Oh, too late. She already is. I know this sounds mean but you have to realize, they are only thoughts.

I know you all have those same secret thoughts about someone in your life. Fess up now. A little purging is good for the soul.

More Separation Of Church And State

My daughter felt I should post this and although I have posted on the separation of church and state once before, this goes into more depth. This is my persuasive speech that I will be giving for class. I hope to get feedback from this. Any and all comments are welcome no matter which side of the debate you are on.

The separation of church and state was an important piece of our founding fathers beliefs in a government not ruled by the volatile reaction religious factions can incur. Thomas Jefferson and James Madison were two founding fathers of this great nation we are all proud to live in. Both of these men were adamant that the church would have no influence over governmental issues.

Jefferson wrote our Declaration of Independence while Madison is largely responsible for our Bill of Rights. Both of these documents stress the importance of our basic human rights. Their foresight to put in writing those strongly held beliefs gave us the freedoms we hold dear today and were intended to ensure we were not governed by church doctrine. In their experience, Europe, specifically England, had been ruled by the Catholic Church.

When Madison wrote the first amendment, the intention was to establish our basic rights. Part of that was our freedom to practice the religion we choose and not have the government dictating that choice. Several years after he wrote the first Amendment, he wrote of “total separation of the church from the state”. He went on to write, "We are teaching the world the great truth that Govts. do better without Kings & Nobles than with them. The merit will be doubled by the other lesson that Religion flourishes in greater purity, without than with the aid of Govt." For Jefferson’s part in a letter to the Danbury Baptists, he wrote, "make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof," thus building a wall of separation between Church & State.”

These men are considered to be responsible for two of our most revered documents. And they fully believed in the separation of church and state. They understood that when we use religion as the basis for laws, we are reverting back to the days when we were ruled by Kings and Queens. This country was founded on the idea that men would rule, not religious zealots. Nor would they be able to bend their religion to suit their wants. Men fought and died for that very freedom so that each of us would have a choice.

When we infuse laws with religious ideas, we take away some very basic human rights. Some might argue there are laws taken directly from religion. I agree. We have laws regarding murder, theft, and lying in court. But is that really a huge leap to religion? If we murder someone, we have violated their right to live which is a human rights offense. If we steal from them, we have violated their right own property. If we commit perjury in a court of law, we could change the outcome of a trial to the detriment of the system. That would either turn a guilty person loose in society or convict an innocent person. That would violate someone’s rights on either outcome.

Even the most prominent and respected Baptist minister in New England, Rev. Isaac Backus, believed there should be a separation of church and state. In 1773, he stated that "church and state are separate, the effects are happy, and they do not at all interfere with each other: but where they have been confounded together, no tongue nor pen can fully describe the mischiefs that have ensued."

When the Constitution was written, the writers took an enormous amount of time, over 3 months, to finish it and to ensure the wording was such that the word “God” did not appear in any part of the Constitution. Even the Declaration of Independence, although not the law in the United States, makes only one reference to a higher being. The phrase is “they are endowed by their Creator”.

The fact is that the idea for separation of church and state began very early in our country’s history. Throughout history battles have been fought to change that. They have been unsuccessful so far and there are significant reasons for their failed campaigns.

There have been many wars fought with country’s declaring that God is on their side. For almost 200 years, The Crusades were fought in an effort to impose Christianity on the Holy land and drive out Muslims. They continued through the 15th century in Spain and Italy. The major problem with that stance is simple. Religion comes in all sizes and theologies. One religion advocates one thing and another will advocate for just the opposite and it boils down to this. Religion teaches us to look down on certain types of people or their actions. It teaches discrimination. This is why there has to be a separation.

Church teaches us to ostracize those who are different from us. It takes away our choices because of the rigid rules. The Civil Rights Act of 1964 finally gave voice to those who were being discriminated against; however; it started before that was passed and has evolved into a Human Rights Issue. There are a couple of issues that garner the most attention.

Abortion is one of them. When a woman is not allowed a choice in her own reproduction, it forces her to bear a child without regard to the emotional or physical toll it may take on her. What of rape or financial issues? We are not walking in her shoes.

Gay Marriage is also a hot button topic. The church states it is a sin to practice homosexuality and therefore gays should not be allowed to marry. They will somehow eat away at the very fabric of the family unit. With less than 3% of all humans being homosexual, it seems unlikely to take over the number of marriages in the world.

When religion is considered as part of the government and its ideas are incorporated into law, we find situations like what has happened in Texas with their Board of Education and the changes they recently made. Not only did they take the word “slavery” out of the curriculum, which negates the actual human toll it took, they removed Thomas Jefferson from the list of writers who influenced our country’s intellectual origins because he was a Deist. The man wrote our Declaration of Independence.

The bottom line is simple and logical. Using religion as a guide for laws and teachings gives a decidedly one sided slant that discriminates. We must remember that our country’s founding fathers knew from experience and history that the separation of church and state was a necessity if we were going to ensure equality for all.

Friday, June 11, 2010

What Really Ticks Me Off

Most of my ramblings would give you the idea that I have a rather negative view on life. I want to set you straight right now. I do not look at life as a victim. I look at life as a gift. You will see the four reasons why in the pictures that will accompany this post. Let me explain.

I have four kids, two girls and two boys. My oldest is 26 and has her own little girl now who just turned 2. My boys, twins, are now 24 and have their own lives. One has no children and the other has 4. He has had his problems over the last few years, but he is getting there. Unfortunately, one of the exes causes many problems and we don’t get to see those kids very often. This brings us to the youngest of mine.

Our youngest was a beautiful girl who was a pistol from the start. She was the surprise child. (She’s the one in the cowboy hat). When she was almost 2, she was diagnosed with a brain tumor. She subsequently had 2 surgeries to remove it and 2 years later, had another one followed by radiation therapy. Less than a year after that, she came down with viral encephalitis which left her semi comatose. It took her some time to come out of that and she was left with very little language skills, but she made up for it with personality. She had also lost her ability to walk and ended up in a wheelchair. She had frequent seizures which took forever to get under control with meds and had 2 strokes during that time. Despite all this, she had an attitude that kept her from being unhappy. She always wanted to laugh, joke, and just enjoy everything.

Unfortunately, we were not able to keep her forever. She lost her battle to a tumor, 12 years after radiation treatment. Her loss was more than can be put in words. My surviving kids were devastated. She was the baby and they worshipped the ground she “walked” on. I went to bed for almost 2 years because of it. But I learned from it.

I learned that you CANNOT let life put you in a hole. There is a lot of crap that happens to us in life. And it’s usually more than the good stuff. We are aggravated every day with little things. It can be someone cutting you off in traffic, to your pen running out of ink when you’re trying to sign your name to a check. (Of course, who uses checks much anymore?) I get irritated with not being able to set something down without it falling over. Some people have been through so many things, like abuse, verbal, sexual, or physical. There are bad people out there who need to be locked away for life, but that is another post.

It is non-stop! I am not alone in this. Everyone goes through it which means you are not alone. The facts are simple. If you let it take you down you will be a miserable person your entire life. You will always be a person with your glass half empty and only see the negative side of anything you look at. There’s the problem.

How can someone recognize what is truly important if they have a clouded view of life? The answer is they can’t. They will never realize that just enjoying a really nice day is something to treasure. A child’s discovery of a dandelion is an awesome thing to behold. Their laugh can be more infectious than the worst pandemic. The way they look at you can make you the most important person in the universe.

Constant negativity breeds more negativity. You can only see the bad side of things. It pisses me off to hear someone complain about something constantly. I may rant on here, but I do know what’s important. Life is what you make of it. Isn’t it more fun to smile and laugh?

The Friday Blog Hops

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Here’s my Fawk You Friday. It’s one big story today. Sorry, but I’m freaking out again. You’ll see when you read it. I am usually not a person who holds a grudge, but I do have a few instances in my life where I feel seriously wronged. This is one of them.

We live about 450 miles from where most of our family lives. Three years ago my husband’s parents celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. My husband has been the only living child having lost a brother in 1976 to cancer. We took 2 vehicles there because he was going to be staying longer than I was and because of work he would be doing for his parents at their house. Between our dogs and the tools he would need, there just wasn’t enough space, so we took the truck and my 4Runner.

While we were there my husband got sick. He got so sick he couldn’t go to the anniversary party. He was having severe stomach pains that would come and go. Well, after a couple days, we made the decision for me to go home without him and he would follow in a couple of days. The dogs were being typical dogs and causing problems where we were. So I went home with them.

The next morning when I called him, he said he was feeling better but wanted to wait another day. I told him I would call him later and we said goodbye. Later in the afternoon I tried to call him at his parent’s house and no one answered. I waited for a couple hours more and tried again. Still no answer. The next phone I tried was his cell phone. Lo and behold his father answers the phone. That is when I found out they had taken him to the hospital and he was being admitted. They had been there for about an hour at the time with NO CALL TO ME.

To preface this I should tell you that we lost a child to a malignant brain tumor so the word, tumor, is a HUGE kick in the gut to me. You will understand this after you have read the rest of the tale.

It takes about 7 hours to drive there and since it was already after 6, the decision was made to wait till the next day because I needed to make arrangements for the dogs. I couldn’t take them with me this time. By 8 pm he was in a room on morphine and no longer in pain, so the slight delay wasn’t a big deal for him. I won’t say it wasn’t a big deal for me though.

Needless to say, sleep eluded me that night and when I started off the next morning, I was wondering if I would be able to finish the drive. Periodically, I would call his cell phone to get an update. A couple of times no one answered, but when it was, it usually turned out to be his dad. He never told me anything that the doctor would say except for 3 things. It was diverticulitis, there was probably and infection, and he would need surgery. That was all I was ever told for the whole drive there. Not once did I get a call after the doctor had checked in on him to tell me exactly what was said or let me hear what was being said. NOT ONE CALL WAS MADE TO ME, SAVE ONE. It was the call to give me the quickest directions to the hospital.

By the time I walked in the lobby, I was fuming because all this time I had no real idea what was going on. I had no clue as to a schedule for surgery, and no one seemed to be inclined to tell me anything either. Well guess who I ran into in the lobby…..his parents. They acted like they hadn’t seen me for years and all I could think about was that I needed information. I started asking what meds he was on and they didn’t know. Then his mom leans into me, lays her hand on my arm and says, “And when the doctor said tumor…..” I was floored. No one had said there might be one and I think for preservation purposes, my brain did not go there even though I have an extensive amount of medical knowledge.

My reaction was fairly swift. I’m sure my expression was of complete shock. Then I said, “I never heard that”. My mother-in-law says, “I never talked to you”. Of course she didn’t. No one called me and told me ANYTHING! After a few more questions they couldn’t answer, they left and I went upstairs.

The next morning his father calls him, while he’s on morphine, and tells him they can’t come to the hospital because of me. In his drugged out state, he calls me and tells me I have to fix it and I can’t come until I do. By this time 2 of our kids have arrived and they were furious with both his parents and him. When I told them I wasn’t going to the hospital, they were completely baffled, but my daughter knew something had happened. My sister-in-law informed her of the situation. My daughter got in her car, drove to their house and unloaded on them while my son took the truck, went to the hospital, and unloaded on my husband, his own father. They seemed to understand how wrong this was.

To this day, they have not apologized, nor acknowledged that they may be wrong. In addition, my husband has never defended me to them about the whole situation. And to make it worse, I did apologize just to smooth things over for the duration of the ordeal even though I do not feel I was at fault. I don’t dwell on this, but they will be coming to stay with us for about 10 days in a couple of weeks. It’s the only time I really think about it.

It still sticks in my craw. My family would never have done that to him. They would have been concerned for him too, not just themselves. So if I say I was never part of that family, you know why.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Slow Down!

Have you ever noticed how some drivers are in such a hurry they ride your bumper, decide you are driving too slowly for them so they punch the gas and fly around you? They will do this even though they can see the next light is either red or changing to red. So they arrived at the light about 2 seconds ahead of you. It happened to me twice today.

I don’t drive that slowly to be honest. What I do is pay attention to the stop lights ahead. If I see they are going to change after I take off from one light, I don’t waste my gas. When you drive an SUV, you use more gas at takeoff than at any other time in your driving. I am trying to do what I can to save a little cash. It isn’t much, but it is what it is.

I also have a problem with speeding through life. How do you take in what’s around you if you are constantly trying to get more speed? Enjoy life! Jeez! What do you think you are missing when you don’t look? Trust me you could be missing the most important thing in your life with that approach. Slow down! Really!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010


There are days when I have a really hard time talking, or in this case, listening to someone complaining about someone else. It is especially hard if I know and love that person who is being slammed and understand he has his own issues. Why is it so hard to show compassion? Wouldn’t you want someone to try and understand what you are going through? What if the roles were reversed?

One of my kids has some emotional issues that add to his ADD and causes him to not handle stress very well. His ex-girlfriend started texting him this morning about 7 am about everything from telling him she wanted more money (they have 2 kids together) to she wants him to terminate his rights. Because he didn’t handle it well, my husband, his father, got into an argument with him and I got a phone call from him later. All he did was talk about his own son like he was nobody. I have a hard time listening to it when there doesn’t seem to be any compassion for anyone else.

He does this any time he feels like he’s some sort of victim, which he feels like most of the time. Everything in life is about him. And I mean everything. If a situation comes up with me or the kids, he turns it into something that affects him. He has always had to be the most important person in our relationship and then accuses me of not being a team player. It’s because I don’t always agree with him and he takes that as traitorous act. I am usually the buffer between him and the kids. He doesn’t feel they are doing everything they can to live their lives the way he thinks they should be lived. If I don’t agree with him or I try to look at the situation more objectively, I become part the problem.

Last fall he crossed a line I have a hard time taking. I still think about it because I find it inexcusable and he has never apologized for it. We bought a houseboat last September and drove it 11 hours upriver to La Crosse where we live. Most of the time we had a blast, but it soon became apparent that it was one more toy he gets to have and I get to be responsible for driving it and making sure everyone is safe. That seemed to be the pattern every time we took the boat out.

Every year, we have Oktoberfest here. It’s a major deal with a huge parade and lots of partying. The entire town is involved. After the parade we took the boat out with about 15 other people. We parked it on a sandbar and we had a good time there. The problem came when we went to leave. He had had too much to drink so I got to drive. That wasn’t the big problem though. It got dark and if you’ve ever had to drive a houseboat in the dark, you know how difficult that is. You no longer have the visual of going straight or not and you no longer can see landmarks. Another issue is not being able to see the buoys. You cannot run over them because they could do serious damage to your prop. Then you’re dead in the water and on a river that is not good. I had no real help with navigation because everyone on the front deck was standing, in my way, and no one was telling me where the buoys were. I was basically blind. Needless to say, I was getting angrier and angrier. I still had to dock it at this point.

After we finally got to the dock, everyone packed up their things and headed out. We locked up the boat and got in the car to head home. I was not speaking at this point because I was so angry I knew I would blow. He finally broke the silence with, “So now you’re not talking to me”. Keep in mind that I have been the one to dock the boat 99% of the time up till now. He always got to have a good time while I took care of the driving. We would let the kids take turns doing that once in a while, but we were responsible and would take over when we were getting into tighter situations. We didn’t have much more experience than they did, but it was our boat.

I told him I would not go out on the boat any more. I was done. He got to party and socialize while I was left to drive the boat and no one talking to me because they were all out there having a good time. He tried to argue with me about him helping and I told him I didn’t want to hear it. I reminded him that it always went this way and I had had enough. The next words out of his mouth I will remember till I die probably. He said, and I quote, “We have a good time and you always have to be fucking bitch”. He has NEVER apologized for that.

I have NEVER called him any derogatory name. And I mean NEVER. It is not something I think is right. I have thought things like that before, but I do not go there. I am not perfect, but slamming someone with everything you have is NOT acceptable in my view. We all have problems and making a person feel as low as the ground is not the way to get your point across. I don’t know if I’ll ever get over this one. He continues to be a very negative person and it’s getting harder and harder to be with him. I know why he’s this way, but that will be left for another post. For now, I’m just frustrated and getting angrier all the time.